Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
where are my eyebrows?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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