There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
