if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
