Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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