I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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