I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
