It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
organizing the empties. That sober.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
