WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Randomize
