we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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