we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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