i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
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St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
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I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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