sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
