remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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