So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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