Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
