dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
