New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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