i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
