Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
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the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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