We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize