He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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