Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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