i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so explain again why im purple
no
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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