Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
