is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I want to fling myself into the sun
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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