from now on my penis is your penis
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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