Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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