we have officially lost it.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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