I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
