He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
