just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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