i don't like sucking hair
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
