Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
