i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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