I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
