Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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