just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize