Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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