It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
