my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
you made out with another girl for some wings
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
