You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
