He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
