I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think I sprained my soul last night
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
