my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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