I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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