Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
