Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
only you would photoshop your dick
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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