your thong is hanging out like whoa
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
