The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
