You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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