the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
it's like iHOP with fire
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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