ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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