He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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