what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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