I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.