I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?