Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.