Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
