just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
