Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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