She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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