ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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